Lets get this straight.
Colder winds blow north and you blow south?
How does one block the world from one's own mind? If the world is in your mind, then does that make your mind the world? Rather than complex this idea any further, let's subtract the math and add the sense.
Humans are flawed. Don't you try to be perfect my dear, your nothing but a force-less little child. Some have had battles. Even wars, but you my friend, you have had none of the sort. You have had loneliness. You've desire to be there but were never close enough to touch it.
Lucky or Stupid?
The answer is hidden. You attempt to reach out and comfort, but you mangle the hearts of lovers in the process. Your vision is clouded, and you refuse to touch the water.
Cleanse your sense of belief and try to imagine what the ocean looks like then the clouds are stone grey.
Does the water turn silver in the reflection?
I find this hard to take for the seasons are changing and you are not.
You claim you've found love.
You claim love has found you.
Has it?
Sit and listen to yourself my dear, listen to your heart.
That is, if it's still beating...
You cannot demand affection.
You cannot demand love.
You want attention, well let me bring something to yours.
People are fragile, your the very definition of that.
Watch carefully as they move past you,
Do you feel loved now?
Do you feel wanted?
You cherish these people and you prey they feel the same for you,
but you'll never know the truth, and the way your going you'll never have the true answer.
You cannot bit the had that feeds you.
You want love, then respect it.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
If I
If i cut a hole into my heart
and pull out the sinewes whish hold it together,
will it then stop beating.
If I slice open my veigns,
and let the blood rush out,
will i then be painless?
You know I do, I do, I-
If I sit in the bath tub filled with water,
and slide beneath the surface,
will i see clearly?
If I take these pills,
and this vodka bottle,
will things make sense?
|
you were, you were, m-
If I fall,
from the highest roof top,
will I be whole again?
If I walk infront or this bus,
will I be strong again?
again.
©2009
Morgan Doowrah
and pull out the sinewes whish hold it together,
will it then stop beating.
If I slice open my veigns,
and let the blood rush out,
will i then be painless?
You know I do, I do, I-
If I sit in the bath tub filled with water,
and slide beneath the surface,
will i see clearly?
If I take these pills,
and this vodka bottle,
will things make sense?
|
you were, you were, m-
If I fall,
from the highest roof top,
will I be whole again?
If I walk infront or this bus,
will I be strong again?
again.
©2009
Morgan Doowrah
Cash Deposit
It's only cold when the wind blows...
May I ask how you found me? May I ask why you found me?
Revive me,
pile drive me.
I can't hear the tone, but I can record your heart beat. Leave it on the front steps and lets step on it, together. A blood pact if you may.
hey
hey
where's your heart of stone?
Oh
hello?
Right. Heartless, enslaved to the misery you manifest within the crevices of your brain.
slow, fast. speed it up now....
Run it back.
Remix of feelings? No.
A symphony of emotions, I think so. Can you run my 2/2 time?
cash deposits won't secure your heart.
But cash money is your wife, uh huh.
wait, wait, a heartless lump,
resting sideways amongst the tumbleweeds...
we'll keep on rollin'...
goin' with the flow...
©2009
Morgan Doowrah
what?
May I ask how you found me? May I ask why you found me?
Revive me,
pile drive me.
I can't hear the tone, but I can record your heart beat. Leave it on the front steps and lets step on it, together. A blood pact if you may.
hey
hey
where's your heart of stone?
Oh
hello?
Right. Heartless, enslaved to the misery you manifest within the crevices of your brain.
slow, fast. speed it up now....
Run it back.
Remix of feelings? No.
A symphony of emotions, I think so. Can you run my 2/2 time?
cash deposits won't secure your heart.
But cash money is your wife, uh huh.
wait, wait, a heartless lump,
resting sideways amongst the tumbleweeds...
we'll keep on rollin'...
goin' with the flow...
©2009
Morgan Doowrah
what?
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Nethiina
His hand was limp.
As was his entire body, from his short round toes, to his pale lifeless face.
The air had stopped flowing from his lungs a few minutes ago.
I stand above him and watch his motionless body lay there,
So many emotions flow through my mind, I can show all but one.
Resent.
His eyes are still open, glazed over and murky.
It feels as though they are starring into my soul,
Eating away at what's left.
I bend down and close them, and stay crouched over him.
I brush the back of my hand over his face, and try to remember what it had felt like when it was chalk full with life.
I slowly scan the rest of his body with my eyes.
His shirt is pulled up above his naval,
and there is a crimson stain near his heart.
The blood has stopped.
I slide my fingers over the wound and they become red.
It's still wet.
I bring them to my lips and suck on them.
I had forgotten what blood had tasted like. The salty, iron filled, taste.
It had been so long since I had licked the blood off a wound. Mind you it had been my own self inflicted carnage.
I curl up beside him and rest my head on his shoulder.
I stare at the wound in his heart, and I try to imagine what it must have looked like when it was struggling to pump.
Struggling to send the blood through the body, only to have it pour out of the hole.
The hole I cut into him.
I laugh, but tears begin to fall from my eyes.
"You stupid son of a bitch" I whisper
I press my lips to his cheek,
"Motherfucker I warned you, I warned you not to piss me off"
I lift my head and stare at his pale face.
"You knew what was going to happen yet you still persisted, I had no choice in the matter, nothing else could be done."
I wipe away the tears and rest my hand on his wound.
"I had to do it, I told you I would. It's my job, it's what I was raised to do."
I begin to grow angery with myself for being so weak. Why was I crying. Stop.
I rise to my feet and kick his ribs hard.
"You idiot, I loved you, but I hated you, and you gave me all the more reason to. See you in hell."
Foot steps echo off the walls in the distance.
They draw closer with every breath I take.
I turn towards the sound, Deskinth.
I quickly wipe what ever evidence of crying off my face, and pick up my knife.
A hand rests in my shoulder,
"Are you done here Nethiina? We mustn't waste time we do not have."
I squeeze my eyes shut and nod.
"Of course I am, I have been for some time. Lets go."
I turn away quickly, and begin walking away from the body.
Dethkinth turns to stare at the cold body on the ground.
He scans it entirely and sighs.
"If not for vengeance, love would be nothing more than a fleeting dream."
I reach the main street and lean against a light post.
I feel drained, completely exhausted. I feel weak.
I ram my fist into the poll and bite my lip to stop from screaming.
Why am I so tired, it was an easy kill, simple really, no struggling, or fighting. Nothing.
So why was my energy gone.
My fist starts to feel warm, I look down to find a river of blood flowing from my knuckles.
"Let us go Nethiina, we have other tasks at hand."
We begin to move away from the alley,
I look back once more, as if I were going to say goodbye,
but there is no one there,
because I killed the only one who would have been.
As was his entire body, from his short round toes, to his pale lifeless face.
The air had stopped flowing from his lungs a few minutes ago.
I stand above him and watch his motionless body lay there,
So many emotions flow through my mind, I can show all but one.
Resent.
His eyes are still open, glazed over and murky.
It feels as though they are starring into my soul,
Eating away at what's left.
I bend down and close them, and stay crouched over him.
I brush the back of my hand over his face, and try to remember what it had felt like when it was chalk full with life.
I slowly scan the rest of his body with my eyes.
His shirt is pulled up above his naval,
and there is a crimson stain near his heart.
The blood has stopped.
I slide my fingers over the wound and they become red.
It's still wet.
I bring them to my lips and suck on them.
I had forgotten what blood had tasted like. The salty, iron filled, taste.
It had been so long since I had licked the blood off a wound. Mind you it had been my own self inflicted carnage.
I curl up beside him and rest my head on his shoulder.
I stare at the wound in his heart, and I try to imagine what it must have looked like when it was struggling to pump.
Struggling to send the blood through the body, only to have it pour out of the hole.
The hole I cut into him.
I laugh, but tears begin to fall from my eyes.
"You stupid son of a bitch" I whisper
I press my lips to his cheek,
"Motherfucker I warned you, I warned you not to piss me off"
I lift my head and stare at his pale face.
"You knew what was going to happen yet you still persisted, I had no choice in the matter, nothing else could be done."
I wipe away the tears and rest my hand on his wound.
"I had to do it, I told you I would. It's my job, it's what I was raised to do."
I begin to grow angery with myself for being so weak. Why was I crying. Stop.
I rise to my feet and kick his ribs hard.
"You idiot, I loved you, but I hated you, and you gave me all the more reason to. See you in hell."
Foot steps echo off the walls in the distance.
They draw closer with every breath I take.
I turn towards the sound, Deskinth.
I quickly wipe what ever evidence of crying off my face, and pick up my knife.
A hand rests in my shoulder,
"Are you done here Nethiina? We mustn't waste time we do not have."
I squeeze my eyes shut and nod.
"Of course I am, I have been for some time. Lets go."
I turn away quickly, and begin walking away from the body.
Dethkinth turns to stare at the cold body on the ground.
He scans it entirely and sighs.
"If not for vengeance, love would be nothing more than a fleeting dream."
I reach the main street and lean against a light post.
I feel drained, completely exhausted. I feel weak.
I ram my fist into the poll and bite my lip to stop from screaming.
Why am I so tired, it was an easy kill, simple really, no struggling, or fighting. Nothing.
So why was my energy gone.
My fist starts to feel warm, I look down to find a river of blood flowing from my knuckles.
"Let us go Nethiina, we have other tasks at hand."
We begin to move away from the alley,
I look back once more, as if I were going to say goodbye,
but there is no one there,
because I killed the only one who would have been.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Wings
Cut off my wings and throw them to the darkness. I do not need them anymore... What good is it to fly when you have nowhere to go?
The mind's eye has set a course for obscurity, thus leading them astray. What guidance could I give them. Blinded by the forsaken light of those delusions. Hath no one seen the dark side? Whilst we sit in sorrow, the blood still drips from the amble demon's tooth. Yet what good doth it do, when nothing can be seen?
Ramblings on walls of stone. Do you read them? I was able to once. Yes.
Duly noted.
Hath these wings met the end of their reign? Have thoes who followed my light, faded with it? Have I lost all I have worked for? Hath all been forgotten? I can no longer rest assured I was made for this. You had chose me to paint a path for them. Yet here I lay, in a pool of my blood, and a river of tears. Feathers stained red, strewn about the cold hollow ground. A trampled mess I am. A cold harsh inner hatred exposed to the world once more.
I am broken.
They do not detach. No matter the blade, the gash, the slice, they stay. Attached. Try as I may, I cannot cut them off... I do not deserve these wings. I do not deserve to be followed. I do not wish to be seen in light. How can someone like I, be accepted. I shall falter just as the great have faltered. Why do we try to rebuild all that is broken. Death is death. One must not drudge such things up. So why doth the world attempt to remain.
These wings will not budge. Nor will this light fade. My eyes have become transfixed on them. The inhabitants of the other side... have they been here long? Yes. Have they always been here? Yes. I have become apart of something rather complex, yet I feel at home here...
You shall not take these wings, I have learnt now, the meaning of them...
What good are wings when one has no where to go.
For inner sanctuary is a place you know.
Morgan Doowrah
©2009
The mind's eye has set a course for obscurity, thus leading them astray. What guidance could I give them. Blinded by the forsaken light of those delusions. Hath no one seen the dark side? Whilst we sit in sorrow, the blood still drips from the amble demon's tooth. Yet what good doth it do, when nothing can be seen?
Ramblings on walls of stone. Do you read them? I was able to once. Yes.
Duly noted.
Hath these wings met the end of their reign? Have thoes who followed my light, faded with it? Have I lost all I have worked for? Hath all been forgotten? I can no longer rest assured I was made for this. You had chose me to paint a path for them. Yet here I lay, in a pool of my blood, and a river of tears. Feathers stained red, strewn about the cold hollow ground. A trampled mess I am. A cold harsh inner hatred exposed to the world once more.
I am broken.
They do not detach. No matter the blade, the gash, the slice, they stay. Attached. Try as I may, I cannot cut them off... I do not deserve these wings. I do not deserve to be followed. I do not wish to be seen in light. How can someone like I, be accepted. I shall falter just as the great have faltered. Why do we try to rebuild all that is broken. Death is death. One must not drudge such things up. So why doth the world attempt to remain.
These wings will not budge. Nor will this light fade. My eyes have become transfixed on them. The inhabitants of the other side... have they been here long? Yes. Have they always been here? Yes. I have become apart of something rather complex, yet I feel at home here...
You shall not take these wings, I have learnt now, the meaning of them...
What good are wings when one has no where to go.
For inner sanctuary is a place you know.
Morgan Doowrah
©2009
Child of Mine
I have forgotten you...
I have forgotten what your innocent face looks like. The softness of your pale skin.
The sparkle in your ever changing eyes. I cannot remember the smile which would form on your tender pink lips, or permanent blush of you cheeks. Your auburn hair was curly, wasn't it? I have forgotten what your laugh sounded like, and the way you would dance between the mighty trees. I don't remember what your tiny voice sounds like. I cannot remember your song. Your lullaby. Your treasure. I miss your glow. I long for your saccharine phrases. I yearn for those nimble fingers.
I have forgotten how to be you. Or is it that I merely grew away from you. I don't want to be away from you. I don't want to be different. Why can we not turn back the dial of life, and restore ourselves? Why must time continue to move forward? Can we not stop it, can we not run backwards, to the old times. The easy times? The childish times of joy and simplistic happiness.
I have forgotten me.
©2009
Morgan Doowrah
I have forgotten what your innocent face looks like. The softness of your pale skin.
The sparkle in your ever changing eyes. I cannot remember the smile which would form on your tender pink lips, or permanent blush of you cheeks. Your auburn hair was curly, wasn't it? I have forgotten what your laugh sounded like, and the way you would dance between the mighty trees. I don't remember what your tiny voice sounds like. I cannot remember your song. Your lullaby. Your treasure. I miss your glow. I long for your saccharine phrases. I yearn for those nimble fingers.
I have forgotten how to be you. Or is it that I merely grew away from you. I don't want to be away from you. I don't want to be different. Why can we not turn back the dial of life, and restore ourselves? Why must time continue to move forward? Can we not stop it, can we not run backwards, to the old times. The easy times? The childish times of joy and simplistic happiness.
I have forgotten me.
©2009
Morgan Doowrah
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