RollerCoaster

Feelings of mixed emotions,
a roller coaster of problems,
and I am stuck on this ride,
I do not understand where this came from,
nor do I wish to know,
the thought of you two makes me sick to my stomach,
I can't talk to you,
every time I try, anger and misery fill my heart,
the words just do not form,
so I walk away,



Do I care if you are hurt?
No not really,
in fact I could care less..
for you are not important to me now,
for my feelings for you have changed completely,
how can I feel the same?

You have made me question,
all that I have ever felt,
you have made me skeptical,
about the future of my love,
What if I to fall out of love?
Will my love fade away and become non-existent as well?
all these questions race through my head,
a constant pounding,
I cannot, for one second,
stop and think positivity about the future,
especially with your constant nagging,
"Who shall you live with"
the sound of curiosity and sadness in your voice,
it looks as though you are giving me those sad eyes,
just so that I will feel bad for you,
"Who have you chosen to live with"
you ask me,
almost confident I would choose you,
though you have hurt me,
when you told me of her,
the replacement you have chosen to fill the void,
where my mother used to reside,

Perhaps I wish to live with neither,
though you both know,
I, do not have the funds to do so,
yet how can I choose between,
the very two people,
whom raised me,
How can I choose,
when I know very well,
the unchosen one,
would be hurt so deeply.

Oh how I wish,
for love to never fade,
oh how I wish time,
would increase the love for each other,
not deteriorate it.
Oh how I wish,
that this event had never taken place,
and that love could have stayed between you,
the funny thing is that was just a wish,
and we all know very well,
they never come true...

Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008

Eternal Bliss

Hold me closely,
hands softly caressing my body,
softly kissing my neck,
your hands slowly unbutton my shirt,
as your pants fall to the floor,

I kiss your chest,
softly and gently,
as you unclasp my bra,
we gaze into each others eyes,
with such deep passion,

There is nothing to hold us back,
here is the moment,
nothing but true bliss,
no worries, no pain,
just you and me,
lips on lips,
skin on skin,

We take one last deep breath,
as I take you in,
out bodies moving in unison,
gasps of air escape my lungs,
this truly is,
a moment of eternal bliss,
in our busy, bustling lives,

We are one,
thrown away our differences,
and tossed away our worries,
we have bared all,
have hidden nothing,

After it ends,
you turn to me and hold me close once more,
you press your lips to my ear and whisper,
"I truly love you"
I blush and turn to you,
gaze deeply into your soft warm eyes,
and whisper,
"I truly love you to"

Then we close our eyes,
and drift away,
into the world of dreams,
filled with thoughts of love and happiness,

Tonight,
two lovers,
became one.

Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008

Drugged

Cut down softly,
I fall to the ground silently,
I am stricken with a pain,
that is incapacitating,
my muscles and joints aren't working,
I cannot move,
nothing works,
I try to scream,
but all that escapes is a gasp,
breathing is so hard,
my lungs are as stiff as 2 week old bread,

"Hush my love"
a voice echos in my ear,
a voice that seems so familiar,
"relax"

I try to focus on the voice,
but my vision is blurred,
then I cringe in pain,
something brushes the hair out of my face,
a hand, a soft hand,


"Soon it will all be over"
I hear the voice say,
"Just a little longer"
my legs are numb,
My arms begin to lose feeling as well,
I feel soft warm lips touch mine,
"Farewell"
says the voice,
then blackness takes hold,
and I slip out of consciousness
forever. . .

Morgan.E.Doowrah

©2008

Ouch

Ouch

This feeling,
how it hurts me so,
a deep throbbing within my chest,
my eyes are sore,
from the constant rubbing,
they are puffy and red,
my nose is stuffy,
from my constant crying,

Ouch

Hit by a bus,
loaded with drama,
I lose a friend,
to a battle of words,
and now those close to me are moving away,
drifted apart like a leaf from a tree,

Ouch

You have raised me,
from a infant to a woman,
watched me cry,
watched me laugh,
together,
you were there for me,
and now you are leaving?
going separate ways?
why? how?
I never saw this coming...

Ouch

"Don't worry it's just a break"
you said it as though it was OK,
you made it sound like everything was fine,
"We are just going to take it day by day"
oh is that it,
when did things start to ferment?
were you acting this whole time?

Ouch

How do I take this all in?
any ideas?
"We know it's allot"
jee you can say that again,
how is it OK,
when two people,
whom raised and love you,
stop loving each other?
how does one cope?
Just because it is a break,
does it mean I should still not be affected as if it were forever?

Ouch

See love fall apart,
makes me so sad inside,
that at times I feel as though my heart,
is going to shrivel up and disappear,
It sends thoughts speeding through my mind,
"what about me?"
"what about my love, will it fall apart to?"
How can I not ask those questions?

Ouch

I will try,
try to understand the reasons why,
which I know is a pointless task,
for I shall never truly understand your reasons,
but I promise this,
I will live my life with the knowledge of love,
and the knowledge that I can try to make it last,
so I hope deep down that you shall find love for each other once more,
and I truly hope we can be a full family
again. . .

Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008

Grace

Love...
thanks for giving me a second chance!
I promise promise p r o m i s e I will not blow it!
just know that I am disappointed in my self,
for not thinking before I acted..
I never intended to do it,
nor do I intend to do it again,

I know that it brings back pain,
and I know that disappointment follows,
thank you for bestowing trust in me,
though I know I have betrayed it,
I never ever meant to,
impulse is a curse which haunts me,
to break your trust was the worst thing I have done,
and I am truly sorry,
forgive my rashness,
just know that I promise,deeply, truly, promise,
to never disobey you again.


The things in which I inflicted upon myself,
were never meant to be seen,
in fact it should have never occurred,
but I lost composure,
things blurred, nothing was right anymore,
right and wrong were indistinguishable,
there was nothing but me and a blade,
in which seemed to shine,
it was as though it called to me,
"It's alright, I can help make it better, don't you want that?"
yes, yes that is what I want,
my mind seemed to decide for itself,
the next thing I knew,
there were marks upon my skin,

How stupid was I?
it did not make me feel better,
there was just more pain,
and then more,
to understand why is an unattainable goal,
for I myself don't see the answer,

You,
you have forgiven me,
you have given me a final grace,
one last chance to redeem myself,
how? for a stupid mistake could have cost so much,
but you let me in once more,
your love is still there?
Why must I be so arrogant,
why couldn't i have seen the wrongness?
I truly love you, yet I betrayed your words,
betrayed my self,
and for that I am truly sorry,
but your kind heart has bestowed,
that trust within me, once more,
and for that,
I wish to truly say;

Thank you


Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008