RollerCoaster

Feelings of mixed emotions,
a roller coaster of problems,
and I am stuck on this ride,
I do not understand where this came from,
nor do I wish to know,
the thought of you two makes me sick to my stomach,
I can't talk to you,
every time I try, anger and misery fill my heart,
the words just do not form,
so I walk away,



Do I care if you are hurt?
No not really,
in fact I could care less..
for you are not important to me now,
for my feelings for you have changed completely,
how can I feel the same?

You have made me question,
all that I have ever felt,
you have made me skeptical,
about the future of my love,
What if I to fall out of love?
Will my love fade away and become non-existent as well?
all these questions race through my head,
a constant pounding,
I cannot, for one second,
stop and think positivity about the future,
especially with your constant nagging,
"Who shall you live with"
the sound of curiosity and sadness in your voice,
it looks as though you are giving me those sad eyes,
just so that I will feel bad for you,
"Who have you chosen to live with"
you ask me,
almost confident I would choose you,
though you have hurt me,
when you told me of her,
the replacement you have chosen to fill the void,
where my mother used to reside,

Perhaps I wish to live with neither,
though you both know,
I, do not have the funds to do so,
yet how can I choose between,
the very two people,
whom raised me,
How can I choose,
when I know very well,
the unchosen one,
would be hurt so deeply.

Oh how I wish,
for love to never fade,
oh how I wish time,
would increase the love for each other,
not deteriorate it.
Oh how I wish,
that this event had never taken place,
and that love could have stayed between you,
the funny thing is that was just a wish,
and we all know very well,
they never come true...

Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008