Do you ever notice the sky in the morning?
How it's not quite black but it isn't quite blue.
It's almost brown.

Do you ever notice the smell the wind carries in the fall?
The sweet rich smell of red, yellow, and orange leaves.
It's calming and still.

Do you ever notice how I'm slowly decaying?
Rotting and stagnant.
Can't you see how hurt I am?
Can't you see how sad I am?
Can't you help me?
Can't you fix me?
Can't you save me?
Can't you help me?

Do you ever notice me crying?
can't you see behind my crumbling walls?
Are you not able to fix me?

WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING FIX ME!?
WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING HELP ME!?
WHY AM I FUCKED UP!?
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!?

I hate this world.
I hate you.
I hate them.
I hate everything.

I hate me.

There is nothing.
You are nothing.
They are nothing.

I am nothing.

I love you.
I love her.
I love him.
I love them.

I hate nothing

Nothing make sense.
Nothing is clear to me anymore.
I can't tell where the line between living and dying is drawn.
It used to be so clear to me, it used to make so much sense.
There was a definite line between this world and the next.
This pill bottle and the 1-800 number.
Now I don't see either.
Which one is the right choice if there is even a choice.
Is dying worth living?
I don't really know anymore.
I feel numb, empty, cold.
I don't know if I want to dye or if I want to live.
I don't know ANYTHING.
They both seem so stupid...

fuck