How did this happen?
How did it get like this?
We were so happy,
we used to laugh and smile,
now we sit in silence and frown.
I still remember out first kiss,
I can picture everything,
it's almost as if
my mind is a photo album.
It was the end of the day, and I saw you at the door,
you smiled and asked if I wanted to hang out for a while.
stunned, the only thing that came out of my mouth was
"SURE!"
we walked behind the school,
and had a snow ball fight.
I lost of course, but only on purpose.
It was getting darker,
and the wind was picking up.
the snow was falling.
You decided we would spin in circles,
I was amazed that you knew it was
one of my favorite things to do.
though I found out later you just decided to do that.
The first time we stopped, you rested you forehead on mine,
My mind was racing, and my heart was pumping so fast,
I couldn't process my thoughts.
we spun again,
yet this time when we stopped,
you did the same thing,
but tilted your head and pressed your lips
on mine.
Do you remember that night?
I do, and I always will...
Now it seems
as though that happened such a long time ago...
it feels like such a distant memory.
As we sit here,
divided,
tears bursting from out eyes,
what is there left for us here?
How do we move on from this cold dark spot.
Perhaps if we close our eyes and
clasp our hands together,
take a deep breath,
and pray for these dark days
to fade away,
and in their absence
let the life back in.
We can overcome this,
if we try.
It is said,
you don't know what you've got until it's gone,
this may not always be right,
but I have fallen victim to this very saying.
Almost losing you,
has cut me deeper and any knife could,
almost losing you has changed me in many ways.
Mostly for the better.
I hope we can move on form here,
I would very much like to.
Just know how much I love you,
just know I am different now,
just know I have changed for the better.
Please believe in my,
believe in us.
I hope you know how much,
I love you.
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Blood in the Bathroom [Revised]
Blood in the Bathroom [Revised]
A single tear rolls down her face,
her vision is blurred,
she shuts her eyes and opens them quickly
in hopes it will stop the tears so she can see clearly again,
but it doesn't work.
She gives up.
She can feel her knees begin to quiver,
they give out, and she falls backwards.
She lands hard upon the concrete floor,
but she can't feel the pain,
or perhaps she just doesn't care.
She can't control the tears,
they flow down her cheeks,
they follow the creases in her face,
they drip off her chin,
landing on her blouse.
They create little translucent spots.
She wants to scream,
she wants to smash her head into the wall,
she wants to feel something.
anything,
she wants to end the numbness,
that seems to have consumed her.
She only knows one way,
one thing that can help her,
she pulls out the razor blade she had kept in her bag.
she didn't analyze what she was going to do,
she just did.
She shuts her eyes,
the tears still furiously falling.
They won't stop.
They drip into her cuts,
she knows they should sting, but
she can't feel it.
She begins to feel light headed,
the room starts to spin,
everything is a blur,
it looks as though she is trapped in a snow globe,
and someone is shaking it profusely.
Suddenly everything goes black,
she is frozen.
She hears a quiet persistent sound.
She can't decipher what it is.
She tries again,
this time she hears something,
her name, or at least she thinks it's her name.
It comes again.
It must be the angels.
His face flashes through the darkness.
Could it be her love,
could it be the one she loved so much.
why was he here,
was he saying her name?
He's gone, gone for good, he's never coming back
these words repeat over and over in her mind,
it's not him, it can't be him.
She can hear her name still begin called.
She wants to see where it's coming from.
She wants to know who is called out to her.
She wants him,
she craves the feeling of him wrapped around her,
she can smell him,
yet she can do nothing, she can't move,
she wants to run, she wants to find him,
she wants to see him.
She hears her name again,
but it begins to growing softer,
it seems to be fading away,
she wants it to stay,
where is it going?
Then as if she had been hit in the head with a blunt object,
her mind stops and becomes still.
Everything seems to have vanished again.
No sound, no feeling.
Just silence in this dark, dark place.
Yet far off in the distance she can see him,
she can see his soft glowing face.
And she can see a small, crystal clear tear,
roll down his cheek,
and as she starred at his face,
she thought she saw his mouth
form the words good bye
then once again she was engulfed in darkness.
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
A single tear rolls down her face,
her vision is blurred,
she shuts her eyes and opens them quickly
in hopes it will stop the tears so she can see clearly again,
but it doesn't work.
She gives up.
She can feel her knees begin to quiver,
they give out, and she falls backwards.
She lands hard upon the concrete floor,
but she can't feel the pain,
or perhaps she just doesn't care.
She can't control the tears,
they flow down her cheeks,
they follow the creases in her face,
they drip off her chin,
landing on her blouse.
They create little translucent spots.
She wants to scream,
she wants to smash her head into the wall,
she wants to feel something.
anything,
she wants to end the numbness,
that seems to have consumed her.
She only knows one way,
one thing that can help her,
she pulls out the razor blade she had kept in her bag.
she didn't analyze what she was going to do,
she just did.
She shuts her eyes,
the tears still furiously falling.
They won't stop.
They drip into her cuts,
she knows they should sting, but
she can't feel it.
She begins to feel light headed,
the room starts to spin,
everything is a blur,
it looks as though she is trapped in a snow globe,
and someone is shaking it profusely.
Suddenly everything goes black,
she is frozen.
She hears a quiet persistent sound.
She can't decipher what it is.
She tries again,
this time she hears something,
her name, or at least she thinks it's her name.
It comes again.
It must be the angels.
His face flashes through the darkness.
Could it be her love,
could it be the one she loved so much.
why was he here,
was he saying her name?
He's gone, gone for good, he's never coming back
these words repeat over and over in her mind,
it's not him, it can't be him.
She can hear her name still begin called.
She wants to see where it's coming from.
She wants to know who is called out to her.
She wants him,
she craves the feeling of him wrapped around her,
she can smell him,
yet she can do nothing, she can't move,
she wants to run, she wants to find him,
she wants to see him.
She hears her name again,
but it begins to growing softer,
it seems to be fading away,
she wants it to stay,
where is it going?
Then as if she had been hit in the head with a blunt object,
her mind stops and becomes still.
Everything seems to have vanished again.
No sound, no feeling.
Just silence in this dark, dark place.
Yet far off in the distance she can see him,
she can see his soft glowing face.
And she can see a small, crystal clear tear,
roll down his cheek,
and as she starred at his face,
she thought she saw his mouth
form the words good bye
then once again she was engulfed in darkness.
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Blood in the Bathroom
Blood in the Bathroom
A single tear rolls down her face,
her vision is blurred,
she shuts her eyes and opens them quickly
in hopes it will stop the tears so she can see clearly again,
but it doesn't work.
She gives up.
She can feel her knees begin to quiver,
they give out, and she falls backwards.
She lands hard upon the concrete floor,
but she can't feel the pain,
or perhaps she just doesn't care.
She can't control the tears,
they flow down her cheeks,
they follow the creases in her face,
they drip off her chin,
landing on her blouse.
They create little translucent spots.
She wants to scream,
she wants to smash her head into the wall,
she wants to feel something.
anything,
she wants to end the numbness,
that seems to have consumed her.
She only knows one way,
one thing that can help her,
she pulls out the razor blade
she had kept in her bag.
She always made sure to keep it with her.
She never went any where with out it.
She was quite meticulous about putting it back exactly where it was,
and about cleaning it right before she used it.
but this time was different,
this time she didn't care.
This time she didn't analyse what she was going to do, she just did.
She rolls back the sleeve of her blouse,
until it almost touches her shoulder.
The tears are still furiously flowing,
she looks at the blade grasped between her fingers ,
than quickly glances at her arm,
with out another moments hesitation,
she draws the blade across her skin.
It feels cold on her arm,
little crimson drops form
where the blade had kissed the skin.
she watches as the drops multiply and join together,
she does it again,
and again
and again
and again.
Her arm begins to turn red,
she keeps going.
She seems to have gone into a trace,
it feels as though she is watching a movie.
Over and over she lashes out at her arm.
Each cut she makes is different,
some are deeper than others,
some are vertical some are horizontal,
they criss cross all down her arm.
Her tears cease.
A puddle of red has formed on the floor,
she can't see it, she can't see anything,
it feels as though time has stopped.
everything is moving really slowly.
the lights look as though they are getting brighter
and engulfing everything.
The washroom stall begins so move,
it begins so quiver and shake,
yet she still sits there,
slashing her arm to pieces.
As if out of no where a sharp pain
rips across her arm,
the light begins to retreat and the stall becomes still.
She leans back against the wall,
for a moment the she stops the blade,
and gazes at what she thought was her arm,
but it wasn't, it must be someones else's she thinks,
it is limp and disfigured.
It is littered with dozens of wet, red lines.
She follows the stream of blood,
until it dripped into what looked like a sea of red beside her.
She stares at the puddle for quite some time,
she is not sure what to do, or even think.
she draws her eyes back to her arm,
then to the blade in her fingers.
the bathroom door opens.
Startled, she looks up toward the stall door.
She freezes.
She can't move, she doesn't want to.
the toilet flushes, she hears the tap turn on, then off,
then she's alone again.
thoughts begin to run through her mind,
How is she going to clean this up?
How is she going to be able to hide the cuts
when they won't stop bleeding.
Panic begins to strike her.
What if they don't stop bleeding?
What if she bleeds to death?
Then she remembers,
no one cares about her,
I bet no one has noticed I'm gone
she thinks to herself.
Suddenly she remembers the one person in her life
she cared for, the one she pushed away.
The dull ache from her broken heart becomes intensified,
it hurts,
she feels it suffocating her,
He's gone, gone for good, he's never comming back
these words repeat in her mind over and over,
She feels the numbness take hold again,
she takes the razor in her other hand,
her arm seems to have stopped hurting,
she unbuttons her blouse,
and tosses it asside.
she gases at her clear, almost perfect arm.
She brings the blade close to it,
she stops, as if to think about what she is doing,
and if she really wants to do it,
but she shakes her head and begins to draw lines on her arm.
again she watches the blood pool at the surface of the cuts,
she feels it drip down her arm,
she starts to cry again.
She shuts her eyes,
the tears won't stop,
they drip into her cuts,
she knows they should sting,
but she can't feel it.
She begins to feel light headed,
the room starts to spin,
everything is a blur,
it looks as though she is trapped in a snow globe,
and someone is shaking it profusely.
Her motions begin to slow,
she can barley move,
she stops cutting.
She can't move her hand any longer,
the blade falls from her grasp and lands on the floor.
It sounds as though it has fallen miles away.
It echoes as if she were on a cliff,
and had thrown if off the edge.
She opens and closes her eyes,
in an attempt to clear her vision.
It won't work,
she tries over and over,
but nothing changes.
everything sounds far away,
she hears the door open,
but she's not sure if it is the washroom door or just a door in the hall,
she can't differentiate the walls from the floor.
She hears a pounding sound,
but she can't tell what or where it is.
suddenly it gets really bright and there are shadowy figures all around her,
she feels weak,
she topples over into something wet,
she no longer has the energy to keep her eyes open.
Everything goes black.
she is frozen.
She hears a quite persistent sound.
She can't decipher what it is,
over and over it repeats.
Perhaps it's angels calling out for her.
she tries to listen,
it's hard, she can't concentrate.
It repeats still.
She tries again,
this time she hears something,
her name, or at least she thinks it's her name.
it comes again.
It must be the angels,
then his face flashes through the darkness.
Could it be her love,
could it be the one she loved so much,
why was he here,
was was he saying her name,
what would he think when he saw her like this,
he would think her disgusting and stupid,
the way has always been.
Her mind was running wild.
suddenly she feels as though she is floating,
she feels as if she were high up in the air,
floating above the washroom,
travailing higher and higher,
now she must be above the school.
She can hear her name still being called.
She wants to see where it's coming from.
She wants to know who is calling out to her.
She wants him,
she craves the feeling of him wrapped around her,
she can smell him,
yet she can do nothing,
she can't move,
she wants to run, she wants to find him,
she wants to see him.
She hears her name again,
but it seems to be growing softer,
it seems to be fading away,
she wants it to stay,
where is it going?
Then as if she had been hit in the head with a blunt object,
her mind stops and becomes still.
everything seems to have vanished again.
No sound, no feeling.
Just silence in this dark, dark place.
yet far off in the distance she can see him,
she can see his soft glowing face.
and she can see a small, crystal clear tear,
roll down his cheek,
and as she stared at his face,
she thought she saw his mouth
form the words good bye
then once again she was engulfed in darkness.
[ok so umm.. yea long ass story I know... sorry if it bored you.. I will revise it soon but here it is for now! If you have some pointers for me just put them in the tag box! Please and thank you! =}]
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
A single tear rolls down her face,
her vision is blurred,
she shuts her eyes and opens them quickly
in hopes it will stop the tears so she can see clearly again,
but it doesn't work.
She gives up.
She can feel her knees begin to quiver,
they give out, and she falls backwards.
She lands hard upon the concrete floor,
but she can't feel the pain,
or perhaps she just doesn't care.
She can't control the tears,
they flow down her cheeks,
they follow the creases in her face,
they drip off her chin,
landing on her blouse.
They create little translucent spots.
She wants to scream,
she wants to smash her head into the wall,
she wants to feel something.
anything,
she wants to end the numbness,
that seems to have consumed her.
She only knows one way,
one thing that can help her,
she pulls out the razor blade
she had kept in her bag.
She always made sure to keep it with her.
She never went any where with out it.
She was quite meticulous about putting it back exactly where it was,
and about cleaning it right before she used it.
but this time was different,
this time she didn't care.
This time she didn't analyse what she was going to do, she just did.
She rolls back the sleeve of her blouse,
until it almost touches her shoulder.
The tears are still furiously flowing,
she looks at the blade grasped between her fingers ,
than quickly glances at her arm,
with out another moments hesitation,
she draws the blade across her skin.
It feels cold on her arm,
little crimson drops form
where the blade had kissed the skin.
she watches as the drops multiply and join together,
she does it again,
and again
and again
and again.
Her arm begins to turn red,
she keeps going.
She seems to have gone into a trace,
it feels as though she is watching a movie.
Over and over she lashes out at her arm.
Each cut she makes is different,
some are deeper than others,
some are vertical some are horizontal,
they criss cross all down her arm.
Her tears cease.
A puddle of red has formed on the floor,
she can't see it, she can't see anything,
it feels as though time has stopped.
everything is moving really slowly.
the lights look as though they are getting brighter
and engulfing everything.
The washroom stall begins so move,
it begins so quiver and shake,
yet she still sits there,
slashing her arm to pieces.
As if out of no where a sharp pain
rips across her arm,
the light begins to retreat and the stall becomes still.
She leans back against the wall,
for a moment the she stops the blade,
and gazes at what she thought was her arm,
but it wasn't, it must be someones else's she thinks,
it is limp and disfigured.
It is littered with dozens of wet, red lines.
She follows the stream of blood,
until it dripped into what looked like a sea of red beside her.
She stares at the puddle for quite some time,
she is not sure what to do, or even think.
she draws her eyes back to her arm,
then to the blade in her fingers.
the bathroom door opens.
Startled, she looks up toward the stall door.
She freezes.
She can't move, she doesn't want to.
the toilet flushes, she hears the tap turn on, then off,
then she's alone again.
thoughts begin to run through her mind,
How is she going to clean this up?
How is she going to be able to hide the cuts
when they won't stop bleeding.
Panic begins to strike her.
What if they don't stop bleeding?
What if she bleeds to death?
Then she remembers,
no one cares about her,
I bet no one has noticed I'm gone
she thinks to herself.
Suddenly she remembers the one person in her life
she cared for, the one she pushed away.
The dull ache from her broken heart becomes intensified,
it hurts,
she feels it suffocating her,
He's gone, gone for good, he's never comming back
these words repeat in her mind over and over,
She feels the numbness take hold again,
she takes the razor in her other hand,
her arm seems to have stopped hurting,
she unbuttons her blouse,
and tosses it asside.
she gases at her clear, almost perfect arm.
She brings the blade close to it,
she stops, as if to think about what she is doing,
and if she really wants to do it,
but she shakes her head and begins to draw lines on her arm.
again she watches the blood pool at the surface of the cuts,
she feels it drip down her arm,
she starts to cry again.
She shuts her eyes,
the tears won't stop,
they drip into her cuts,
she knows they should sting,
but she can't feel it.
She begins to feel light headed,
the room starts to spin,
everything is a blur,
it looks as though she is trapped in a snow globe,
and someone is shaking it profusely.
Her motions begin to slow,
she can barley move,
she stops cutting.
She can't move her hand any longer,
the blade falls from her grasp and lands on the floor.
It sounds as though it has fallen miles away.
It echoes as if she were on a cliff,
and had thrown if off the edge.
She opens and closes her eyes,
in an attempt to clear her vision.
It won't work,
she tries over and over,
but nothing changes.
everything sounds far away,
she hears the door open,
but she's not sure if it is the washroom door or just a door in the hall,
she can't differentiate the walls from the floor.
She hears a pounding sound,
but she can't tell what or where it is.
suddenly it gets really bright and there are shadowy figures all around her,
she feels weak,
she topples over into something wet,
she no longer has the energy to keep her eyes open.
Everything goes black.
she is frozen.
She hears a quite persistent sound.
She can't decipher what it is,
over and over it repeats.
Perhaps it's angels calling out for her.
she tries to listen,
it's hard, she can't concentrate.
It repeats still.
She tries again,
this time she hears something,
her name, or at least she thinks it's her name.
it comes again.
It must be the angels,
then his face flashes through the darkness.
Could it be her love,
could it be the one she loved so much,
why was he here,
was was he saying her name,
what would he think when he saw her like this,
he would think her disgusting and stupid,
the way has always been.
Her mind was running wild.
suddenly she feels as though she is floating,
she feels as if she were high up in the air,
floating above the washroom,
travailing higher and higher,
now she must be above the school.
She can hear her name still being called.
She wants to see where it's coming from.
She wants to know who is calling out to her.
She wants him,
she craves the feeling of him wrapped around her,
she can smell him,
yet she can do nothing,
she can't move,
she wants to run, she wants to find him,
she wants to see him.
She hears her name again,
but it seems to be growing softer,
it seems to be fading away,
she wants it to stay,
where is it going?
Then as if she had been hit in the head with a blunt object,
her mind stops and becomes still.
everything seems to have vanished again.
No sound, no feeling.
Just silence in this dark, dark place.
yet far off in the distance she can see him,
she can see his soft glowing face.
and she can see a small, crystal clear tear,
roll down his cheek,
and as she stared at his face,
she thought she saw his mouth
form the words good bye
then once again she was engulfed in darkness.
[ok so umm.. yea long ass story I know... sorry if it bored you.. I will revise it soon but here it is for now! If you have some pointers for me just put them in the tag box! Please and thank you! =}]
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Seas of Red
These days go by
as if they were on fast forward.
They fade in and out like the sun in the clouds.
Hours spent in this building
seem to go by like minutes.
Sleep feels as though it lasts only mere seconds.
Nothings the same.
No one seems to notice,
the void I can see.
No one sees the gaping hole,
that is torn right through me.
I can see it.
I can feel it.
I know it's there.
People move by quickly,
smiling and laughing.
Groups of pretty girls pass by,
giggling about the cute boys in their English class.
I look around the bustling hallway,
and notice the rather large amount
of people in groups.
It seems as though I am the only one in the world,
not apart of anything.
It hurts.
These days I have become numb.
I don't feel anything.
I see those happy people,
and wonder what that feels like,
to be happy.
I wonder what it's like to laugh and joke around.
A teacher steps briskly past me,
flashing a smile in my direction,
yet I can not return the favour,
for I seem to have forgotten how.
As though this were a disappointment,
the smile quickly left her face
and she turned down the hall.
Deep inside.
Everything has become black and white.
My life feels as though it were a silent movie,
in which has no importance any more.
No one wants to watch a movie with no sound.
My life feels useless now.
just a few days ago I was living,
living for something,
living for someone.
Now, it seems,
there is no need for me.
It hurts.
I feel as though
I am a used napkin
left on the floor,
to be tossed away with
merely a thought.
I was living for him,
I was living for us,
but now that can be no longer.
There is no longer an "us"
for it seems we have dissipated.
I am useless now.
He promised me a forever.
I was to stupid to know better,
I was to dumb to remember that
there is no such thing.
I have let love
devour me,
I gave it my heart and it chewed it to pieces,
and spit it back out.
Because of me he has left,
and with him he took,
a part of me,
I know I shall never again have.
Because of my blind stupidity,
I dropped his heart to many a time,
and now I must pay the price for my mistakes.
I hurt him deeply.
I am now left here.
and empty shell of the girl I once was.
I seek solace in the blood drawn,
from my own body.
I seek comfort form the pain I know,
I deserve.
For now I surely,
will no longer bring upon a terrible sadness,
to the one I will always love,
for I shall leave this world.
Here I shall lay,
in a sea of red,
and call out to him,
in my last remaining breaths.
"I love you, I always will, I love you, I always have, I'm sorry, I'm so so sor-"
my last words cut short,
as the glow of life fades from my body.
at least now,
I shall die knowing,
I will no longer be a burden to this world,
and the people whom inhabit it.
I shall pass on with the knowledge that you are happy now.
No longer will I feel numb,
no longer will I live every day with regret,
no longer will I wonder why it had to be this way.
no longer shall I have to wonder what happiness feels like.
For no longer shall I be here,
For after all,
all good things must come to an end...
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
as if they were on fast forward.
They fade in and out like the sun in the clouds.
Hours spent in this building
seem to go by like minutes.
Sleep feels as though it lasts only mere seconds.
Nothings the same.
No one seems to notice,
the void I can see.
No one sees the gaping hole,
that is torn right through me.
I can see it.
I can feel it.
I know it's there.
People move by quickly,
smiling and laughing.
Groups of pretty girls pass by,
giggling about the cute boys in their English class.
I look around the bustling hallway,
and notice the rather large amount
of people in groups.
It seems as though I am the only one in the world,
not apart of anything.
It hurts.
These days I have become numb.
I don't feel anything.
I see those happy people,
and wonder what that feels like,
to be happy.
I wonder what it's like to laugh and joke around.
A teacher steps briskly past me,
flashing a smile in my direction,
yet I can not return the favour,
for I seem to have forgotten how.
As though this were a disappointment,
the smile quickly left her face
and she turned down the hall.
Deep inside.
Everything has become black and white.
My life feels as though it were a silent movie,
in which has no importance any more.
No one wants to watch a movie with no sound.
My life feels useless now.
just a few days ago I was living,
living for something,
living for someone.
Now, it seems,
there is no need for me.
It hurts.
I feel as though
I am a used napkin
left on the floor,
to be tossed away with
merely a thought.
I was living for him,
I was living for us,
but now that can be no longer.
There is no longer an "us"
for it seems we have dissipated.
I am useless now.
He promised me a forever.
I was to stupid to know better,
I was to dumb to remember that
there is no such thing.
I have let love
devour me,
I gave it my heart and it chewed it to pieces,
and spit it back out.
Because of me he has left,
and with him he took,
a part of me,
I know I shall never again have.
Because of my blind stupidity,
I dropped his heart to many a time,
and now I must pay the price for my mistakes.
I hurt him deeply.
I am now left here.
and empty shell of the girl I once was.
I seek solace in the blood drawn,
from my own body.
I seek comfort form the pain I know,
I deserve.
For now I surely,
will no longer bring upon a terrible sadness,
to the one I will always love,
for I shall leave this world.
Here I shall lay,
in a sea of red,
and call out to him,
in my last remaining breaths.
"I love you, I always will, I love you, I always have, I'm sorry, I'm so so sor-"
my last words cut short,
as the glow of life fades from my body.
at least now,
I shall die knowing,
I will no longer be a burden to this world,
and the people whom inhabit it.
I shall pass on with the knowledge that you are happy now.
No longer will I feel numb,
no longer will I live every day with regret,
no longer will I wonder why it had to be this way.
no longer shall I have to wonder what happiness feels like.
For no longer shall I be here,
For after all,
all good things must come to an end...
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Questions
Should I have let him kiss me?
Should I have let him hold my hand,
and walk side by side,
down that dimly light street?
Was it right to embrace him?
Was it right for me to have felt safe,
standing there, with his arms clasped tightly around me.
Should I have let him trust me?
Should I have let him tell me he loved me,
when I knew I was broken and sordid.
Should I have let him give away his heart?
Should I have accepted it,
even though I know I am clumsy, and afraid to hurt it...
Was it right for him to have forgiven me?
Was it OK for me to have fallen in love,
with some one so pure and so saccharine...
I don't really know if any of these are right,
nor do I think I ever will,
but one thing, I know for sure,
is the way I feel about him is apodeictic.
I know that I love him, and I will always love him...
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
Should I have let him hold my hand,
and walk side by side,
down that dimly light street?
Was it right to embrace him?
Was it right for me to have felt safe,
standing there, with his arms clasped tightly around me.
Should I have let him trust me?
Should I have let him tell me he loved me,
when I knew I was broken and sordid.
Should I have let him give away his heart?
Should I have accepted it,
even though I know I am clumsy, and afraid to hurt it...
Was it right for him to have forgiven me?
Was it OK for me to have fallen in love,
with some one so pure and so saccharine...
I don't really know if any of these are right,
nor do I think I ever will,
but one thing, I know for sure,
is the way I feel about him is apodeictic.
I know that I love him, and I will always love him...
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Dah Dah Dum Dah
dah dah dum dah
isn't it a wonderful day!
dah dah dum dah
the sun is out, it's a warm day
dah dah dum dah
the grass is still so green
dah dah dum dah
the leaves are changing colours
dah dah dum dah
so rich and bright
dah dah dum dah
fall is my favorite season
dah dah dum dah
everything feels so raw, so cozy
dah dah dum dah
I love sitting under that big maple tree
dah dah dum dah
hand in hand with you
dah dah dum dah
staring deeply into each others eyes
dah dah dum dah
laughing and gigling
dah dah dum dah
tickling and kissing
dah dah dum dah
I wish time would stop
dah dah dum dah
so that we would never have go
dah dah dum dah
I wish we could stay here for a little longer
dah dah dum dah
sometimes i don't want to go home.
I love the smell of fall
dah dah dum dah
I close my eyes
dah dah dum dah
and take a deep breath
dah dah dum dah
it's a moment of bliss
dah dah dum dah
fall is my favorite season
dah dah dum dah
the colors are so rich, so vibrant
dah dah dum dah
fall is my favorite season
dah dah dum dah
because I met you...
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Sleepless
It's been a few days now.
A few dawns have turned in to dusks,
and a few dusks into dawns,
yet I have not slept a wink.
It seems as though I have forgotten how.
I lay wake in bed,
I toss and turn,
I close my eyes and try to think
about something boring or happy,
to see if it would make me sleepy,
yet sad and scary thoughts
protrude into my mind and
I am left to ponder the sad things.
It feels as though
sleep is the last thing I should be doing,
but sleep is the only thing I want to do.
Every time I begin to drift off into the world of dreams
I think about my mistakes and
a cold, painful feeling of guilt takes hold of my body,
and I no longer feel like sleeping.
I wish I could sleep,
I wish I could wake up and it already be light out.
I wish I didn't have to watch the sun rise each morning,
though it is a sight of explicit beauty.
I wish I could feel refreshed.
I wish these dark rings under my eyes would go away.
I look in the mirror and the girl looking back looks pale and withered,
she looks lanky and pathetic,
she looks dead.
It scares me to think that that girl is a refection of me.
It has been so long
since I have dreamed.
Sure I day dream, but they are broken up,
but the sound of my teacher's voice,
or by the chatter and calamity of the hall way.
Sometimes if feels
like I will never sleep again,
some times it feels like I shall never feel rested.
Sometimes I wish I could just curl up and die,
so that I won't have to feel so low every day.
sometimes I wish I could just forget everything and start over.
But i really wouldn't want that.
I want to keep my happy memories.
I want to remember all my friends, and the ones I love and have loved.
Perhaps one day,
I will be able to put my mind at ease,
and perhaps one day these things won't bug me any more.
Perhaps one day, I will be happy again.
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
A few dawns have turned in to dusks,
and a few dusks into dawns,
yet I have not slept a wink.
It seems as though I have forgotten how.
I lay wake in bed,
I toss and turn,
I close my eyes and try to think
about something boring or happy,
to see if it would make me sleepy,
yet sad and scary thoughts
protrude into my mind and
I am left to ponder the sad things.
It feels as though
sleep is the last thing I should be doing,
but sleep is the only thing I want to do.
Every time I begin to drift off into the world of dreams
I think about my mistakes and
a cold, painful feeling of guilt takes hold of my body,
and I no longer feel like sleeping.
I wish I could sleep,
I wish I could wake up and it already be light out.
I wish I didn't have to watch the sun rise each morning,
though it is a sight of explicit beauty.
I wish I could feel refreshed.
I wish these dark rings under my eyes would go away.
I look in the mirror and the girl looking back looks pale and withered,
she looks lanky and pathetic,
she looks dead.
It scares me to think that that girl is a refection of me.
It has been so long
since I have dreamed.
Sure I day dream, but they are broken up,
but the sound of my teacher's voice,
or by the chatter and calamity of the hall way.
Sometimes if feels
like I will never sleep again,
some times it feels like I shall never feel rested.
Sometimes I wish I could just curl up and die,
so that I won't have to feel so low every day.
sometimes I wish I could just forget everything and start over.
But i really wouldn't want that.
I want to keep my happy memories.
I want to remember all my friends, and the ones I love and have loved.
Perhaps one day,
I will be able to put my mind at ease,
and perhaps one day these things won't bug me any more.
Perhaps one day, I will be happy again.
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Giggles
You look so happy
your smile seems to beam.
it travels from one corner
to the other.
You look so sweet
your eyes so memorizing,
so tranquil.
They evoke with in me
a sense of peacefulness.
They make me feel light
and happy.
You sound so excited
you laugh and smile,
you hug me tightly
I hear you say
"I am so happy to have found you, I am so so happy!"
I can feel a smile start to form.
I can feel it breaking through
the expressionless face,
that has become me.
My legs feel weak,
I can feel them start to shake.
Suddenly I topple over,
but just before I hit to ground,
you break my fall.
I open my eyes to your face.
We lay chest to chest.
"Are you ok there?"
you ask me
with you soft, tender voice.
I can feel my face turning red
I quickly turn away.
you giggle.
"You know, this is kinda comfortable..."
I tilt my head
so that my hair is covering my face.
"Please look at me, your eyes are so very pretty"
I hear you say,
I feel your hand softly touch
the bottom of my chin
With little to no effort
you turn my head to face yours,
and with one fluid moment,
I find myself suddenly underneath you.
I find myself
looking strait into your eyes once more.
I turn my head to the side,
some how our fingers became intertwined.
I lay motionless,
I can hear my breathing,
it's slow and heavy.
I feel you move,
you re-adjust your self.
"You know you can look at me right? Are you that shy?"
you ask me in a childish tone of voice.
I still do not look at you,
I can't quite muster the courage
to face you.
You giggle,
I can tell your still smiling
"Your cute, you know that?"
once again
I can feel my cheeks start to blush,
I squeeze my eyes shut tightly.
I don't want you to see me beet red.
I can hear you laughing
"Jeez, you really are a shy one! There is no reason to be shy you know!"
I feel your fingers release from mine.
I feel them softly brush the hair out of my face.
You tilt my head upwards,
I keep my eyes shut.
You gently stroke my cheek,
your hand is warm and smooth.
Suddenly my eyes open,
as if they had a life of their own.
I see your face, it looks to perfect,
your cheek bones so defined,
your face so smooth ,so clear,
you hair seems to shine like water,
in the sunlight.
"There we go! Now I can see our pretty face and those gorgeous eyes!"
My heart starts to beat faster,
I can feel my breathing quicken,
"You look so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you..."
I can feel a smile form again.
I try to hide it,
but I can't
You have yet to stop smiling.
It seems as though it would never go away.
You bring your face closer to mine
you look me deep in the eyes
and whisper
"You know something?"
I don't say anything,
I look away and back again,
you tilt your head ever so slightly,
and bring your face closer to mine.
I close my eyes, and take a deep breath in,
then with out a sound you press your lips atop mine.
Time feels as though it has stopped.
I don't mind though.
I feel so light, so free, so happy.
A feeling has take over,
it feels strange and foreign to me.
you take your lips of mine,
and press them to my ear,
"I love you"
you whisper,
I turn my head to yours
and with out a moments hesitation
I whisper
"I love you to"
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
your smile seems to beam.
it travels from one corner
to the other.
You look so sweet
your eyes so memorizing,
so tranquil.
They evoke with in me
a sense of peacefulness.
They make me feel light
and happy.
You sound so excited
you laugh and smile,
you hug me tightly
I hear you say
"I am so happy to have found you, I am so so happy!"
I can feel a smile start to form.
I can feel it breaking through
the expressionless face,
that has become me.
My legs feel weak,
I can feel them start to shake.
Suddenly I topple over,
but just before I hit to ground,
you break my fall.
I open my eyes to your face.
We lay chest to chest.
"Are you ok there?"
you ask me
with you soft, tender voice.
I can feel my face turning red
I quickly turn away.
you giggle.
"You know, this is kinda comfortable..."
I tilt my head
so that my hair is covering my face.
"Please look at me, your eyes are so very pretty"
I hear you say,
I feel your hand softly touch
the bottom of my chin
With little to no effort
you turn my head to face yours,
and with one fluid moment,
I find myself suddenly underneath you.
I find myself
looking strait into your eyes once more.
I turn my head to the side,
some how our fingers became intertwined.
I lay motionless,
I can hear my breathing,
it's slow and heavy.
I feel you move,
you re-adjust your self.
"You know you can look at me right? Are you that shy?"
you ask me in a childish tone of voice.
I still do not look at you,
I can't quite muster the courage
to face you.
You giggle,
I can tell your still smiling
"Your cute, you know that?"
once again
I can feel my cheeks start to blush,
I squeeze my eyes shut tightly.
I don't want you to see me beet red.
I can hear you laughing
"Jeez, you really are a shy one! There is no reason to be shy you know!"
I feel your fingers release from mine.
I feel them softly brush the hair out of my face.
You tilt my head upwards,
I keep my eyes shut.
You gently stroke my cheek,
your hand is warm and smooth.
Suddenly my eyes open,
as if they had a life of their own.
I see your face, it looks to perfect,
your cheek bones so defined,
your face so smooth ,so clear,
you hair seems to shine like water,
in the sunlight.
"There we go! Now I can see our pretty face and those gorgeous eyes!"
My heart starts to beat faster,
I can feel my breathing quicken,
"You look so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you..."
I can feel a smile form again.
I try to hide it,
but I can't
You have yet to stop smiling.
It seems as though it would never go away.
You bring your face closer to mine
you look me deep in the eyes
and whisper
"You know something?"
I don't say anything,
I look away and back again,
you tilt your head ever so slightly,
and bring your face closer to mine.
I close my eyes, and take a deep breath in,
then with out a sound you press your lips atop mine.
Time feels as though it has stopped.
I don't mind though.
I feel so light, so free, so happy.
A feeling has take over,
it feels strange and foreign to me.
you take your lips of mine,
and press them to my ear,
"I love you"
you whisper,
I turn my head to yours
and with out a moments hesitation
I whisper
"I love you to"
Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008
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