Mistake ridden,
dumb, and untalented.
big hearted, yet foolish.
soft-witted and dull.
confused and brainless.
complete f a i l u r e.

such words can cause great pain,
such words used to scorn and spite.
Such words describe me best.

Despite hardest I try,
I never get any where.
Whether it be marks or general tasks.
I try to work heavily on my image as well,
yet, it seems nothing has changed.
You all can still laugh and joke,
at times it can be funny, but sometimes it really hurts.
I want to go far in life,
but how can I do that,
when I can't even picture my self physically being there in the first place?
I have the only thing I have ever wanted,
I could never ask for anything better,
yet I still seem to some how mishandle that as well.

I guess turning to this habit,
helps me to prove to myself that I am useless.
I suppose that this in a way can help m be a better person,
for in reality each time I fail,
I use it, then I feel better, and for some reason ,
I feel slightly motivated to do better,
so I won't suffer form the pain.
Though, this doesn't really work all that well,
so really it's not doing anything.

Thus in conclusion,
I don;t know what I should do.
I suppose I shall just remain here waiting to see how things go...

[not really a poem more of a rant..]