Addiction

This is enough,
this has gone to far,
she's messing with my mind,
taking over every thought,
she comes online, i say hello, though I have no reason to,
she is like an addiction,
I can't stop thinking about her,
I cannot pull my self away form her
she intrigues me,
yet disturbs me to,
we are alike,
though we are different,
I don't understand why I keep her in my life,
I have only met this girl twice,
god this is irritating,
I can't seem to cut her off,
why?
for reasons I do not see,
I continue conversation,
in hopes of what?
no one knows,

"Just stop"
he says
"Sure, sorry"
I say
but I do not,
why though?
why must this continue?
is it out of pity? Do I blame myself for their past?
Why? I was not apart of it?
perhaps I feel as though it is my job,
to mend her broken heart?
Why should I care, it's not like I was the one who broke it.

Yet i feel guilt,
fuck this drives me crazy,
she makes me feel sadness,
I am always nice,
yet behind her smile is spite,
can feel it, spite and hatred,
it shows,
she can't hide it,
I can see it,
in the details of our conversations,
the emotions are there,
hidden behind elegant words,
which are said so poetically,
that it almost sounds as if she wants me to feel this way,
I said I was sorry,
"I will understand if you hate me"
I said it to her face,
"No no, I do not hate you"
she said with a smile,
don't hide it,
truth is often better than lies you know,

I must end this,
I must stop the knife before it travels any deeper,
into my fragile heart,
It is best for both of us to forgive and forget each other,
she was nice and so was I,
it felt as though we were the same person,
maybe we are,
but I do not care anymore,
this has badgered me enough,
sure maybe we could have been friends,
but then again perhaps not,
for in the end no good will come of it,
so the end is here,
so long, good bye,
pretty girl of his past,
my mistake to start this,
and here it will,
end.

Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008