恐れ & 破損

Closed eyes
make for good shields
against the cold harsh thoughts
that hurl them selves at you.
The sharp, knifelike thoughts,
which never seem to cease.

It's not abnormal
for one to think about
events of the past
for a small period of time,
yet to think about them
for days and days,
having little to no reprieve,
is a tad strange,
especially if the event was not
sufficient to anything major.

Yet in the mind
of doleful adolescent girl,
thoughts seem rather persistent,
no matter how hard she tries to eradicate them,
they never go away,
they constantly resurrect themselves,
and pose new fears and uncertainties.

Try as she might,
the thoughts are never ending,
she tells others about these thoughts,
"Don't worry, just think that it never happened"
they tell her,
"Aww try not to dwell on it, think of nice things"
so she tries this,
yet it seems to be easier said than done.

She tells the one she loves,
"Please help me, please, I-I can't stop these t-t-thoughts, I try so-so very hard-"
she attempts to explain, amidst the river of tears,
"I-I try so very hard to forget them, but they just don't leave, I-I'm so scared."
quivering on the floor,
from having collapsed
Her hands pressed up against her eyes,
in a feeble attempt to stop the tears,

"Shh, stop please, it's ok, I told you it's ok, nothing happened right? I thought that was what we had decided?"
says the boy, rubbing her back
"I know it wasn't your fault, I know you didn't mean to break the promise, I know you didn't"
"BUT I DID! I DID BREAK IT, I DID, I DID, I DID, I AM SO SORRY"
her screams echo through out the hall,
reverberating from wall to wall,
"shh, shh, yes you did, but I forgave you, please know, I have forgiven you!"

When one convinces one's self,
to believe something,
it is often very hard to think other wise,

When you have your mind made up,
no matter what anyone says,
what you think is right,
and quite frankly, that's that.


Sadly for the girl,
she suffers from exactly that,
she has been forgiven,
she has been excused for her actions,
she has been provided with one last chance,
yet for her, it's hard to grasp that fact,
she does not understand how she has been forgiven,
she does not know why he has given her that chance.



She has commited acts,
in which usually are not forgivable,
yet they were,
she has inflicted things upon her slef,
which bring up memories of sadness,
for the one she loves,
yet he forgave her,
"why?"
the frail, dark lump on the ground whimpers,
"why do you give be one more chance, when I-I have hurt you so-so much, why?"
the boy smiles,
and says
"because, I really do love you silly"

Morgan.E.Doowrah
©2008